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In a child, this is actually beautiful, the innocence of a boy running from experience to experience not knowing what he really wants.However, in a man, this kind of trait is repulsive.In this case, your sense of self is no longer based upon the external reactions of others, but is instead based on the internal recognition of your own intrinsic value. Psychological strength is developed through a similar mechanism, by the repeated damage and rebuilding of the sense of self, caused by ‘rejection.’ Being rejected, ultimately, only serves to remind you that no one knows your own intrinsic value as intimately as you do.(UPDATE) As I suspected might happen, some malicious individuals have reported the ranking blog, and the blog home page is no longer indexed ( It's always good to see what people are saying, where any weak points might be, what people like, etc.We are constantly seeking pleasure and running away from anything that could cause pain. Of course we want to minimise discomfort but we must also recognise that pain is inevitable, and what is inevitable must be embraced.This extreme fear of, and resistance to pain, explains a lot about why many of us struggle to find and maintain relationships.

Recognise this simple truth and you can start to develop a healthy ego, a sense of self that is not diminished and depleted by ‘negative’ feedback. Physical strength is developed through the repeated damage and rebuilding of muscle fibre, by lifting weights.In the same way as muscles that are not exercised begin to atrophy and weaken, so too does the unchallenged ego.Men want to feel so strong within themselves that they are not afraid to express exactly how they feel in any given moment, but they do not want to risk hurting their sense of self.We crave the intimacy and love that such a relationship would provide but we have no desire to experience the pain that comes with it. If you ever hear anyone talking about how they found their ‘soul mate’, have all the same interests, finish each others sentences and never argue, wait six months and ask them again how they’re doing.If they still say the same they’re likely either lying or deluding themselves in some way.When two separate and imperfect human beings come together, both with separate life histories, separate ideas and beliefs, separate expectations, and everything else that comes into the mix, there will be conflict.

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